Kate,
John Rosemond is a name that "ruffles my feathers" as well.  He is a family
psychologist, "best-selling author," public-speaker, and director of The
Center for Affirmative Parenting in North Carolina.  He writes a column
"Living with Children."  The Junior League brought him here to Montgomery to
speak in 1996.  Two months prior, one of his articles was printed in a local
parenting magazine.  I was so angry at what he wrote that I stayed up half
the night writing a reply (which was printed).  The article was about
sleeping with children.  John Rosemond said, "I am, indeed generally
disapproving of parents and children sleeping together.  It's important for
children to understand their parents' marriage does not include them.  This
distinction positions the marriage at center stage in the family, at the
focal point of attention.  Coming to grips with the fact that the
husband-wife relationship is the primary relationship in the family helps the
young child divest of self-centeredness, acquire a sense of independence and
move securely toward eventual emancipation.  Being allowed to sleep with
parents prevents a child from seeing and developing respect for this
distinction.  On the surface, sleeping together seems idyllic and nurturing.
The togetherness seems to contribute to a child's sense of security and
self-esteem.  In fact, the opposite is true.  A child cannot achieve complete
autonomy unless parents first establish the autonomy--separateness--of their
marriage.  Autonomy is virtually synonymous with self-esteem.  Therefore,
what looks like a very nurturing arrangement actually extends dependency and
interferes significantly with emotional growth."
Sounds very similar to someone else we all know...
Cher Sealy, RN, BSN, IBCLC
The Breastfeeding Encounter
Montgomery, AL

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