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Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 24 May 2000 16:57:42 EDT
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Chris mused,

<< Does anyone have a gentle way that I might present this to the IBCLC who
made the recommendation or should
 I just ignore it and let it go?  >>

OK, I'm no LC.  But specializing as I do in persuasive presentations, I'd
start by agreeing with her.

Basically you do AGREE about what is wrong with this dyad -- that their bf is
being messed up, probably temporarily, by his teething troubles.  And both of
you had "fixes" that addressed the temporary nature of the problem.  So
that's a lot of agreement -- most, actually.  The only thing you disagree
about is what is the best, least intrusive, fix, the least likely to cause
other problems in the meantime.  So don't get to the disagreement yet -- just
agree for a minute, first.

This also tells her that you are respectful of her, that you treated this
"2nd opinion" request not so differently from a referral -- you are checking
back about "her" patient.   This may make it easier for her to hear what you
are going to tell her when the other shoe drops, in five minutes.

Then, if you are comfortable with it, you might even ask her about her shield
recommendation here.  Has she had good luck getting onto (and safely back off
of!) shield in this kind of situation?  or did she feel that mom was begging
for some kind of fix-it and this was all she could come up with but was
ambivalent herself?  Or what?

Now, having had this hopefully-OK conversation so far, you can say that "the
mother seemed concerned about the shield, and in fact you, too, have seen
dyads with shield-caused trouble, and so you were glad to have this other
solution that you could recommend.  Has she tried working with these
tinctures?  It worked great for this baby, in general you've had great
results with it, you'd be happy to fax over the label, etc."

NB -- sending this in writing is a good follow up and lets her look at it
later, when her possible defensiveness has worn off.

"And the nice thing is that for those babies -- even if they are a minority
-- for whom getting back off the shield can be a problem (or supply, or
whatever you don't like about shields), they don't present that kind of
trouble. etc.  You just stop giving the drops, and the drops themselves are
totally safe, etc etc."

"And anyway, thanks, good to talk to you, always important to share resources
with colleagues, blah blah."


Naturally no anti-defensiveness measure works perfectly, and and nobody loves
being criticized; and if she is at all smart, and you are still annoyed when
you are speaking, she'll know it from listening to you.  But organizing the
conversation this way can sometimes lessen that effect, anyway.  Good luck --

Elisheva Urbas

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