Heather wrote:
>Actually, the science would be reassuring on that - as long as the nanny is the same nanny, and does not leave when the child is still young, and as long as the nanny really loves the baby (both conditions not always fulfilled). The baby in this situation would attach to both the nanny and the mother (eventually).<

For those in doubt, please read (or re-read) Selma Fraiberg's book,
"Every Child's Birthright: In Defense of Mothering."

Another "must read " is  "Oneness and Separateness: From Infant to
Individual" by Louise Kaplan, which is based on the work of Dr.
Margaret Mahler. Both these books stress the crucial importance of a
constant mother or mother-figure in a child's life.

None of this, of course, is meant in any way to condemn that father
for finding others mothers to nurse his baby. He is obviously doing
the very best he can under tragic circumstances. Babies can, and do,
survive under the most incredible conditions, but that does not make
it the biological norm.


Norma Ritter, IBCLC, RLC
www.NormaRitter.com

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