Dear All:

While there is a huge onslaught against women undergoing their natural physiological processes 
and in some ways we are getting almost into Brave New World territory in some circumstances and 
I can understand wanting everything to be as "natural" as possible, I find that I must point out that 
not only humans are tool users, but chimpanzees as well.  I'm sure someone more well-versed in 
anthropology or animal behavior could fill in more about how more animals than I am aware of 
have figured out ingenious ways to use tools.

So, I have to say that I take a bit of offense at the thought that I would be classified as somehow 
an inferior mom because I happened to use a My Brest Friend pillow for an extensive period of 
time.  The My Brest Friend pillow and the Baby Bjorn enabled me to nurse my son the 20 times a 
day he seemed to need.  I happen to be short waisted, my son was huge, my breasts small and 
that pillow was just the right firmness for me to survive.  I slept in my chair many an afternoon 
with him nursing on and off on that pillow.  If I hadn't had the Baby Bjorn for my once a day walk 
to the community gardens for 30 min, I am sure I would have thrown my son out the window.  I do 
know how to wrap a baby in a cloth and carry a baby on my back from my many years in Africa, 
but in my right-brained enhanced post-partum state, I could not recreate this skill that I had 
learned in my prechild state.  The afternoon walk enabled me to get ready for the 6pp-8pm on 
and off feeding and screaming session that happened every night.  Now I know better, but I 
basically got through it by lying not on the recommended firm bed, but (oh my gosh) on the couch 
watching inane TV reruns ocaissionally flip flopping sides every other commercial break.  My son 
happened to have mild reflux, was a self-limiting feeder - never ever taking more than 2 ounces 
at a time even when I went back to work and the babysitter fed him bottles.  I shudder to think 
about the violaton of the human milk storage that he probably underwent in my absense.

And yes,  because my former line of work in international nutrition had senior management that 
didn't practice what we tried to promote elsewhere, they started calling even before I got through 
the six week paid period of my "disability leave" to pester me about stuff at work.  Soooooooooo 
my TRUE CONFESSION is that I am one of those women who sat at the computer letting my son 
nurse while I answered their emails and fended off the attacks from my male boss who thought it 
was an excellent opportunity to use me as a scapegoat for the many things he couldn't manage.  
Had I been smarter I would have said a few choice words about the absurdity of being called up 
within a few weeks of delivery to be pestered that way and used as a scapegoat when physically 
absent from the office, but I basically stuck it out for the health insurance.  For those of you who 
do not live in the US - this is nothing to sneeze at.  We now pay $13,000 a year since my husband 
and I are self-employed.

That pillow enabled me to have almost 24/7 skin contact, except when I resorted to the couch in 
the late afternoon or the bed at night.  I answered the door with him on the pillow; I answered the 
phone with him on that pillow; I even ---- yes really ---- sat on the toilet with him on that pilow.  
So, maybe my hand wasn't always there on his back.  But his tummy never left my tummy for more 
than 15 minutes at a time for the first two months of his life.

Now, because I was one of those do or die breastfeeders, I probably would have been able to 
breastfeed anyway without the pillow, but I can tell you it would have really pushed me to the end 
of my rope.  If a tool works why make life harder on someone?

Believe it or not, even though I think that pillow saved my life, I do not promote the pillow.  I watch 
the woman's anatomy, watch her comfort levels, watch her dexterity, and a zillion other things.  If 
I think she needs tools or props, I start using what is around. folded receiving blankets, towels, 
burp cloths, pillows, whatever works.  And Yes, when I think it helps, I suggest a pillow that I think 
might help her body type and manual dexterity.

Whether is is using a weighing scale, a nipple shields, a Lactaid or SNS, a cup, a bottle or any of 
the various tools that we might use - one can always find examples of abuse.  However, when 
these tools well and appropriately used these can be a valuable aid to the work we do.  

When I show the beautifully attached babies in Rebecca Glover's video ---- we tend to call them 
the "dangerously dangling babies"  I always mention that women should not feel incompetant if 
they find that are not able to latch without a little support at first.  Its basically like using training 
wheels for a little while until you get the feeling of riding a bike.  Not a permanent device. 

I'm thinking of the recent movie of Jane Goodall's long work with the chimps and their reeds to 
pick the ants out of their holes.  Should they be considered inferior chimps because they used the 
reeds rather than waited for the ants to come crawling out on their own?  Is waiting for the ants 
more natural than using a reed?

Please, we should always look at each individual mom and do what helps her to have a more 
enjoyable and successful breastfeeding experience even when it involves a few appropriately used 
tools.  

Susan Burger, MHS, PhD, IBCLC

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