Last night, a woman called to cancel an upcoming appointment, having decided
at 5 days to bottle-feed.  After all this talk about guilt it just now hit
me:

Suppose I had said to her (after she told me that her formula-fed firstborn
had done fine, that this way Dad could feed the baby, that it was more
convenient to bottle-feed, that it wasn't really all that important anyway)
"The important thing is to make a decision you're comfortable with.  Remind
yourself of that every time you feel guilty."  Or maybe, "That's fine.
Enjoy your baby in other ways and try not to feel guilty about it."

Could we possibly apply the guilt game in reverse, using it as a tool to
motivate even as we appear to be using it to appease?  I've never, ever used
the word, but if it's the way the rest of the world talks...  Would having
the *LC* encourage a mother not to feel guilty perhaps encourage rethinking?
What feelings would a comment like that induce?  Resentment?  Or better
motivation (either for this time or next time)?  I don't know if I'm serious
here or not...

As it is, I'm sending some info to her ped, a really good guy, that he might
want to share with future mothers *in advance of* any problems.
--
Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY
www.wiessinger.baka.com

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