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Subject:
From:
Jeanette Panchula <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 20 Feb 2006 11:57:54 -0800
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There are are as many ways to "tell the truth" as there are Lactation
Consultants!  Here is a place where "Watch your language" takes a whole new
meaning!

You need to watch (auditory, kinesthetic and visual language) your words,
(tempo AND passion), facial expressions, body language and general
communication methods, being aware of the cultural, physical and emotional
state of the mother/family you are talking to.

We all know that communication requires both a "reciever" and a
"transmitter" - however, a newly-delivered mom, or a mom who is in crisis is
often unable to get a good "signal" - which puts the responsibility of the
communication much more on our shoulders as transmitters than in "normal"
communication situations.

You can say "giving formula can cause problems with breastfeeding" in 100
different ways by varying all the above....just try it right now at your
computer!

Perhaps we all need to evaluate HOW we "tell the truth" and make a
self-study of how effective we are.  

If we "tell the truth" and most of the mothers we "tell the truth" to choose
NOT to breastfeed exclusively, we might want to re-evaluate our
effectiveness instead of blaming the mother for not doing what we told
them...so if we do the same thing over and over - and get the same results -
perhaps a different approach is in order.  

BUT if, when we "tell the truth" we find that most mothers DO listen to what
we say, consider it and DO change - then the evidence shows the way we "tell
the truth" is working!

What we say to mothers should be not for OUR satisfaction "well, I TOLD her
what she needed to know" but to meet their needs "this mom deserves to know
what are the consequences of the different choices she has".  

When done with compassion, understanding and appreciation for the
complexities of a mother's life - "tell the truth" can be absolutely
"right"...and when spoken in haste, with no consideration for her situation
- it is ineffective and communicates to the mother and her family that
Lactation Consultants are demanding and uncaring.

There is not a week that goes by that I don't realize how rushed I was at
one particular home visit and how I wish I had done it better - and at other
times the visits go wonderfully (just got a call from a mom that I was SURE
would be formula feeding at 3 weeks - asking me about her body changes at 6
weeks - baby still exclusively breastfeeding).  We can only hope that we
have more of the latter and fewer of the former!

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
California

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