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Subject:
From:
Kathy Dettwyler <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 21 Mar 1997 08:15:12 -0600
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Just have to comment on Liz's post that her children are not alone in their
age bracket for when they weaned!

Also, to address Debbie's concerns, I must say that there can, of course, be
weird things going on in a family that happen to include extended
breastfeeding.  Parents can be very inappropriate with their children in
many ways, we all know this.  The point is that extended breastfeeding is
NORMAL and does not in any way give an indication that something unusual is
going on.  The problem is that many health care professionals, social
workers, etc., view any nursing beyond a particular age as aberrant and
clear evidence of child abuse, sexual activity, etc.  In the *lovely* book
(NOT) by Dr. Patricia Love, titled "Emotional Incest" nursing beyond one
year is included in the list of "warning signs" for Emotional Incest.  So is
co-sleeping, so is home-schooling(!).  Dr. Love has no citations to any
scientific research in her book, nor is there any evidence to suggest that
nursing for the normal duration for our species is a symptom of some
horribly inappropriate relationship between parent and child.  However, this
book has found its way into the hands of local pediatricians who say things
to mothers like "You're *still* nursing?  You know, nursing past a year is
one of the clear signs of emotional incest syndrome.  You need to wean NOW."
I've even heard one person, a Ph.D. psychologist, say that the very LACK of
scientific documentation in Dr. Love's book is evidence that the information
is well-known and well-documented and widely-accepted.  Duh.

So -- one shouldn't assume there is ANYTHING wrong with an 8 year old who
still nurses.  As Liz so aptly points out, would you assume there was
something wrong with an 8 year old who sucked their thumb?

At the same time -- one shouldn't assume that parents who practice extended
breastfeeding are always loving and warm and caring.  They may be weird.
There are plenty of weird parents out there.

Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.
Texas A&M University

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