I promise not to post any more today!! But just had to make one
observation re touching. In many (all?) instances of sexual harrassment
accusations and mediation/litigation, it is considered the responsibility
of the TOUCHEE to tell the TOUCHER in no uncertain terms that they do not
want to be touched. It is NOT considered the responsibility of the TOUCHER
to ask permission first.
True example: Male graduate student accosts female graduate student in a
deserted hallway in a building on campus in the evening. He approaches her
and "throttles" her with both hands around her neck, saying "Every time I
see you, I just get this overwhelming urge to strangle you." He is hurting
her, and she is taken aback, scared, and not sure how she should handle the
situation, as she can't tell how serious he is. She laughs (as in, "Ha ha,
NOT funny") and removes his hands from her neck -- it takes some force.
She says something like "You are very strange," said laughingly, and moves
away. Goes home freaked out. Says nothing to anyone about it. Same
student later accused by his female office mate of sexual harrassment for
posting violence-against-women note on his office wall (involving knives
and vaginas) and refusing to take it down when asked. Throttled student
comes forward with her story. During mediation to settle accusation,
throttled student is taken to task by male student's ATTORNEY (yes, he
brought an attorney) for not telling male student that she did not like to
be throttled. In other words, it was perfectly reasonable for the male
student to throttle her, and assume that she would like it, or at least not
mind, unless she specifically told him not to.
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Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D. email:
[log in to unmask]
Anthropology Department phone: (409) 845-5256
Texas A&M University fax: (409) 845-4070
College Station, TX 77843-4352
http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettwyler.html
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