Jay, I'm sorry that I misinterpreted your question. To build up an "emergency supply" before returning to outside employment at six weeks, I usually suggest that the mother starts to pump at 4wks pp. It is often easiest to pump when the baby hasn't nursed for a while. This may be before the first "official" feed of the morning (you know what I mean!) or just before the baby wakes up from a nap. This is another reason to teach the mother how to interpret the baby's cues. Most mothers seem to need reassurance that the baby will still get enough milk, even if they have just pumped. I don't remember if you mentioned the type of pump she was using. The majority of mothers who call me, complaining that they can't pump enough, are using inexpensive pumps made by companies whose main source of income comes from selling bottle feeding equipment or ABM. There is also a lot of misunderstanding about how much milk a tiny baby gets at one nursing. We tend to forget that a fussy baby is !
 easily comforted even at a breast

that has just been nursed, while the process is very different if only a bottle is available. Hence the use of pacifiers (dummies.)
        You said that this baby is not interested in taking a bottle right now and the mother is concerned about this. She might like to wait a few days and then have somebody else try while she is out of the house. Have the caregiver offer the bottle *before* the baby shows signs of hunger, holding him very close to her body. Let him play with the nipple so that when a drop of milk falls on his lip it is in the nature of a bonus, and very gradually introduce the nipple into his mouth. The key is to go slowly, listening to the baby's cues. Personally, I think it is the smart baby who refuses a rubber nipple! I tell mothers not to worry about this because there are so many ways to feed a baby besides bottles. After I have taught them how to use a variety of utensils - shot glasses, sippy cups, peridontal syringes, eye-droppers, their level of axxiety goes down.
        How do other Lactnetters handle the issue of babies missing their mothers? The mothers to whom I talk have rarely even considered that their babies will miss them just as much (if not more) than they might miss their babies. Our society seems to be stuck on the idea that mothers and caregivers are interchangeable. Yes, I emphasize how wonderful it is that the mother is providing her milk, how lovely it is to be able to leave a sleepy, just-nursed baby instead of one that is screaming and how nursing is a great way to reunite with the baby after a separation. While I'm not into the guilt trip, I cannot help but mourn with the tiny baby who has no sense of time and can only know that his mother is not there when she is needed. How many times have we heard about those *good* babies whose systems shut down and who sleep for hours when their mothers have gone? Is this more or less distressing than  hearing about the babies who start off by crying inconsolably and then adopt the !
 caregivers as their mothers? I hav

e struggled with this for over 20 years, since I first read Margaret Ribble's book, "The Rights of Infants."

Norma Ritter, IBCLC, LLLL                     "If not now, when? If not us, who?"
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