Hi everyone,

I can't resist chiming in with my 2 cents on this topic.  Although I
don't want to make a judgement call on this particular mom and child, it
does bring up the gray area of what's appropriate at different ages.  It
seems to me that mothers sometimes forget that as an infant grows, both
the mom's and the child's skills and strategies need to evolve.
I saw a classic case of this on TV a few years ago.  A mother still
(resentfully) nursing a 4-year-old portrayed it as a very negative
relationship. It turns out that she still fed the 4-year-old immediately
whenever the 4-year-old 'demanded'.  She hadn't grasped that the
relationship needed to change as the child grew.  What is ideal for
nursing a 6-month-old may be unhealthy for a 4-year-old - not the nursing
per se but the relationship.  A 4-year-old doesn't want so much control
over her own mother and needs to learn how to cope with 'No'.  This mom
needed to learn to set limits and boundaries.  My thought with offering
to a 6-six-old is that by that age perhaps the mom and child could be
developing other strategies for dealing with stressful situations -
skills the child can use at age 10, 15, 45...long after weaning.  For
example, my children as they got older started replacing some nursings
with 'snuggle time' and my oldest still requests it when he needs it
(he's almost 13).

Marcia McCoy

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