Pam -

Yuck, what an unpleasant situation! I guess I've gotten cynical enough that
the only thing that surprised me at all in your sad tale is that a
"colleague" would be so incredibly unprofesional, not to mention downright
tacky, as to share this by e-mail with your entire unit. What a rude,
low-down, sleazy thing to do!! I'm glad your manager chewed her out for it -
and I hope that she uses this as a clear example of totally unacceptable
conduct.

There will always (well, maybe not 'always', I hope) be nurses around whose
attitudes are like this co-worker's, as long as birth is viewed as a medical
event and as long as formula is considered an "equivalent" substitute for
breastmilk, and as long as the issue remains so emotionally charged among
women that they aren't able to separate what is known and proven about
infant feeding from their own fears and sadnesses and experiences and
whatever lacks they have in their own lives. Helping each other heal those
attitudes is where the heavy-duty work needs to happen. But it's relatively
simple to define what is & what is not acceptable behaviour towards one's
peers in a work setting. This sort of garbage is not acceptable, and I hope
that's the message your fellow nurses will take away from this incident.

Sometimes the miracles of modern communication methods aren't necessarily a
blessing. If this nurse had had to confront you face to face to discuss your
differences, or bring it up "live" in a staff meeting, you can bet she
wouldn't have been so quick to fire off such a snotty communication!

Besides, if your job title is "Lactation Director", I'd say that you are
just doing your job! Wouldn't you say that part of your job is to advocate
for breastfeeding?! You're not called the "Formula Director" or the "Spit-up
manager" or even the "Infant feeding coordinator"; I'd say you'd be failing
at your job if you didn't share accurate and appropriate information with
women! Well, I guess "no good deed goes unpunished".

Hope you get all the support you need to re-fortify yourself to carry on in
the face of such stupidity! I'm with you all the way.

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY

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