At times, I think we may be "romanticizing" the idea of the extended family
- 
Having been both raised in one and raised my children in one, as well as
working with moms whose families also were nearby, I would like to add
another dimension to it - 

"Misinformation"

Moms I visit are told by their mothers (who breastfed) that they can't eat
xxx or YYY, that they can't breastfeed their babies the milk that spoiled
because of the anger she felt towards her husband, (therfore she should not
argue with him - this is not an instruction to bottlefeed formula, but an
instruction on how to keep a man), they can't breastfeed if they are sick
(so give the baby a special tea - not formula - until mom is well), etc.

There was a LOT that was GOOD about extended families - but they are not
perfect.  When there are more adults, there are more opinions.  If there
are different opinions, the grandparent's are the ones that are often
followed - to the detriment of the health of the child, at times (NEVER put
the baby on his back).  

I think we need to work towards how to help the moms we see and improve the
ways we share this  information, and discuss what has been effective and
what has not (Loved the "blocks" idea and plan to use it...).  We are not
going to be able to create an extended family for her, but perhaps support
groups, peer counselors, etc. can help them.  

Just a thought late at night - after a day of chasing a pump for a mom
whose baby is in intensive care and visiting a mom who was told (by grandma
and aunt) to "wrap the baby's arms real tight so he can't reach his mouth"
- then I find the baby (under 5 lbs) overheated and underfed......

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, IBCLC
Vacaville, CA
mailto:[log in to unmask]

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html