Have to throw my .02 in here.  I must say I side with those who have
expressed the view that it is a male-dominated view of the world to claim
that our *professional* lives and our *personal* lives have no relevance for
each other, and that it is somehow *unprofessional* to admit that you are a
mommy too.  Years ago, when women were first entering academia, they were
told never to have pictures of their children in their offices, even.  Our
culture as a whole is so baby/child-unfriendly.  I have lived for 2.5 years
in a culture where children are welcomed everywhere, even by the adult men,
even in offices, in the market where women are selling food, etc.  Everyone
loves children and welcomes them, and realizes that yes, they make noise
sometimes.  It is a whole different world.  When I talk at conferences I
always try to reassure people that I can speak quite loudly, and do not mind
baby noises in the least.  I am much less tolerant (as someone else already
mentioned) of side conversations, food smacking, paper shuffling, etc.  It
always makes me feel bad when women act apologetic about their babies making
noises or doing normal baby things -- they are so used to people objecting
or minding, so used to dirty looks, that they find it hard to believe they
are welcome.  This is a sad state of affairs.  It is *especially* ironic
when babies are excluded from breastfeeding conferences, which are supposed
to be about meeting babies needs.  Sure, you can always wait til baby is
older to go to a conference, or have hubby walk the halls with baby, but
that seems to me to be missing the bigger point, which is "Do we really want
to have, and believe in the possibility of, a baby-friendly society?"  If
so, we must find ways to make it work for everyone, and be flexible.  When
Alex was little, I brought him in to my office for office hours, for faculty
meetings, and for 2 dissertation defenses.  I just held my head up high and
sailed on through, with no apologies.  Who knows what my colleagues said
behind my back -- I *know* the graduate students (both male and female)
think I'm *way cool* for doing this.  Every day, in every little thing we
say or do, in every little choice we make, we create and recreate our
culture.  We can perpetuate the idea that the public world of work is for
"professionals" who are automotons, who have no family life, and that
children (if not women) should be out of sight/out of hearing, OR we can
work toward a culture that fully accepts families and children, and supports
them in every way possible.  The air is a little thin up here, I think I
need to step down.....


Kathy Dettwyler