11/20/99
Alice Martino hit a favorite chord for me when she compared breastfeeding to
intercourse and stated that as relationships they are equally important to
women. I have felt that was true ever since I became a breastfeeding mother.
At each stage of new experiences in my unfolding reproductive life, I have
been amazed at how much there was to discover---and most of it was things
people had never told me! I would make the assertion that, compared to men,
women experience many more states or levels or stages of virginity, defining
virginity (and I know that's a loaded word, but I used it to get your
attention) as a state of innocence or inexperience in knowing one's own body
and its capabilities. And many more levels/stages/states of knowledge are
available to women.
Think of the journey of self-discovery that awaits a woman who has never
menstruated, a woman who has not explored her own sexual responses, a woman
who has not experienced those responses with a partner, a woman who has not
been pregnant, a woman who has not given birth, a woman who has not mothered
a baby at her breast or a woman who has not experienced her breasts as a
productive, giving part of her body.
Now I'm not about to claim that menstruation is an experience on an equal par
with the others (although there are writers that do get pretty lyrical about
it!), but for me sex, being pregnant, birthing, and nursing have all had a
tremendous influence on making me who I am. When I counsel pregnant women at
WIC, I just wish I could convey to them the richness of life that they will
miss if they don't get brave and learn to breastfeed. But just try saying
anything like what I've said here, and people think you're nuts.
How's that for self-disclosure? Friday was my 58th birthday. What better
time to speak out to 1500 close friends!
Chris Mulford
Swarthmore PA USA
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