In a message dated 7/26/2003 7:08:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> Since I've not walked a mile in any of their shoes and don't know all the
> internal and external voices influencing their decisions, I'll continue to
> provide information, suggest intervention options, etc. and let them choose
> to
> do with it what they will.

the times i fall off the more compassionate side of the fence are those times
i feel i HAVE been in their shoes. before working to help new moms bf, i was
a new mom myself. i had a preemie, i was told his suck was too weak, i was
told he needed formula, i was told when my milk had still not come after 5 days
(vaginal birth, no pain meds but still emergent induced w/ mag sulfate and
pitocin for 4 days...)that he was starving despite a sugar water IV...and yet i
had read some mainstream pgc books which had blurbs about bfing being best...and
that was all it took for me to decide that's what my baby deserved. i had no
idea LLL existed then, no idea about the sundry groups for support via the
internet...i just remembered hearing about some babies in mexico in a huge
earthquake that survived 8 days with no sustenance whatsoever. and i knew mine was
getting sugar water thru IV, and the little colostrum i provided. i was
determined that amidst all the wires, tubes, harried nurses and bili lights was MY
baby even tho i couldn't hold him, bathe him or change his diapers. but the one
thing i could do that nobody else could do was bf him. i steadfastly refused
formula for him despite objections from my ped, family and even husband. i
pumped every 2 hours for 20 minutes, i suckled him every chance they would let me.
my milk came in on day 6, he came home on day 12 and we never looked back. an
ap mama was born of instinct and desperation. all it took was the single bit
of information that one was better for my baby than another to make me decide
that's what i was obliged to do. often when i work with new moms and hear
about their schedules, their lack of interest in learning more about it, their
concern over nursing in public or having to pump instead...i also get very
discouraged and disheartened. before working with other moms bfing, i had no
knowledge whatsoever about it. my ob told me i had to wean my 9 mo when i got pg
again. then my ped told me i could not nurse a toddler alongside a
newborn...instead of just acquiescing, my heart told me i had to look into it. and all it
took was remembering that 'breastfeeding is better'. so i had to find out how
better? why better? how much better? for how long better? and here i am now,
still tandem nursing my 3.5 yo and 2 yo sons. i work hard and long to support and
encourage other moms to successfully bf. i have instinctively felt since the
fragile start of my 1st that it is a newborn's birthright and some glitch in
our  modern thinking has made us feel we have a right to deny it to them all too
often for our own convenience. i have wetnursed and/or donated for 3 other
babies and would beg borrow or steal breastmilk from any willing mother before i
ever gave them a drop of formula. while i try also not to judge or get too
invested, it is hard not to get very passionate about the subject when you
realize the babies cannot. i have been asked not to nurse my toddlers in public
places and had to quietly inform managers of these establishments of the law,
face burning, ppl staring and toddlers crying. and i have had new moms stay in
contact and send me cards when they reach 1 yr nursing their babies and tell me
they never would ahve done it had they not known me. maybe someday when i'm
not still nursing i will be able to afford not to get so invested - maybe i
won't feel i also walked in that mother's shoes - but until then, i'm glad and
proud for the differences i've made, few tho they may be in the overall scheme of
things. and i know it was b/c i HAVE walked in their shoes.



"...where someone loved him best of all."


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