When I wrote that the mother who was treated rudely by the receptionist
should herself write a letter (instead of her husband making a phone call) I
was making two points.  One, always put your complaints in writing, so
there's a record.  Two, women should not have to rely on men to protect them
*in lieu of* learning how to stand up for themselves.

I was in no way making a comment about their husband/wife relationship, or
saying that a father's support of breastfeeding is not important.

Females in the US are often taught as youngsters to turn to a man for help
whenever a difficult or awkward situation comes up -- Daddy, or brother, or
boyfriend, eventually husband, and even later, adult son.  Not to forget
male physicians (and what does the male physician often advocate as the
solution to a breastfeeding problem?  "Poor little women, expected to
breastfeed.  That's too *difficult* for a delicate little thing like you,
why are you bothering?  I can fix it with a recommendation for formula."

We teach 'learned helplessness' to young girls in the US, we disempower them
at every turn.  Flat tire?  Call a man.  Bad grade?  Get Daddy to threaten
the teacher.  Heavy box?  Bat your eyelashes and ask a man to pick it up for
you.

I openly admit I am a feminist -- I think women deserve equal rights, equal
opportunities, equal chances, equal pay.  The flip side of having equal
rights is equal responsibilities.  Part of my being an advocate for
breastfeeding is empowering women to view their bodies as strong and capable
and powerful.  Part of empowering women is teaching them that they have the
right to stand up for themselves, and teaching them how to do so.

I am also not afraid to have my comments and opinions associated with my
name in the LactNet archives, and I will not self-censor for fear that some
outsider might read the archives and be offended.

Kathy Dettwyler

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