Someone posted the URL in another forum, and I went and looked at the
original.
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/living/articles/2007/03/31/supply_and_demand/
It's interesting, how the human mind works, for in the absence of the end
'barb' on the babyrazzi site, I found myself reacting to this:
"Norma Jane Bumgarner, author of "Mothering your Nursing Toddler," says
women who experience hostility often are those who invite criticism.
"Especially with older children, a person has to think about what she wants
to deal with," she says."
The paragraph is badly written, so I'm only talking here about how it
appears in the article, making no statements about what the original
wording/context might have been.... but I just hate the implication that a
mother who nurses a toddler openly, is bringing down criticism on herself -
and she should be aware of that in her 'choices'. Similarly, the article is
at pains to mention the 'nursing discretely' equation elsewhere.
I am of the opinion, we do ourselves more harm than good with such
statements. I personally would ban the word 'discrete' in all discussions
of nursing. For as soon as we use it, we hand everyone a big stick to beat
ourselves with. Apart from the impossible description of what 'discrete'
means, as soon as we use it, we discourage mothers who nurse older babes - 9
months of so onwards - from nursing in public. For a month old babe can
be kept relatively still at the breast, but the 9 month old "let me see
everything" rarely can. I'm in control of my head movements and I will use
that control!
I find it so sad when mothers say they've given up nursing as soon as the
baby started to look about during feeds. When we use 'discrete', we
apologise for what we do, and we exclude older babies from the 'nice and
discrete' equation.'
Neither is it so clear cut as a younger/older/reasoning divide. My own son
is huge, and was in 2-3 year clothes at 18 months. Nursing him in public,
long before he was able to be reasoned with, was often fraught with fear. I
felt exposed and vulnerable when I first began to nurse in public with my
newborn, and well remember how good it felt to gain confidence. To then see
that confidence wain as he grew.... and I was back to vulnerable and exposed
and afraid of being attacked as he was 'bigger'. When events unfolded and
I'd find myself in public, needing to feed a hungry toddler whom I'd hoped
to distract for just a bit longer.....
Interestingly, when we went to Scotland for a holiday, where it is against
the law to harrass a nursing mother in public, the fear gave way to quiet
relief. The law made a huge difference in my confidence levels, as I knew
that if I had been attacked, I could call the police in defense of my
situation. And 'attack' is not too strong a word, given how scared I was,
and to some extent still am. My son is over 2 years old now, so even in
Scotland, the defense is gone. The situation in the UK has resulted in a
mothers having their prams destroyed in front of them for daring to nurse
their babies, and of police being called in England and the police officer
shouting at the nursing mother.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/4457490.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4418370.stm
I'm not suggesting it isn't a worthwhile article, or an excellent step in
the right direction. I just wish that my nursing could be seen as what it
is - everyday - and not something to be 'discrete' about. I feel the more
we go on about discrete nursing, the less likely we are to reach that point
of normality. We need to challenge the word wherever we find it and banish
it from our own vocabularies!
And much as I celebrate the article, and see it as useful and interesting in
context, I am left wondering... if we all hide in the closet, how are things
to change?
Always hoping for the next step....
Morgan Gallagher
Online Lactaneer
Nursing a 26 month old, today in his "for aged 6 years" wetsuit as he ran
about the garden
jessica wrote:
>>I couldn't get the link to work.. however, it has been lifted and
>>reprinted
>>here:
>>
>>http://www.babyrazzi.com/
>>
>>Does the orignal end with the same barbed comment?
>
>Yikes! Absolutely not - everything after "NOTE:" is a comment from whoever
>posted it.
>
>Jessica Mattingly M.Ed., CCE, LLLL, IBCLC
>Kansas City, MO
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