Julie,

The mother refusing skin-to-skin was certainly the first red flag.  She may
have been projecting because she is the one who is feeling upset.  Perhaps
she has a history of sexual abuse and is feeling conflicted about
breastfeeding. Or maybe she had a bad experience previously and expects more
of the same.

Sometimes hindsight is 20-20. One thing that I would suggest, when a mother
continues to contradict and negate suggestions, is to stop, perhaps
acknowledge her pessimistic outlook, and ask her what she wants from you,
how can you help her.  At the least, it will get the negative energy on the
table for discussion, which is important because you aren't going to make
headway without dealing with it. She may then regroup, or she may express
that she really doesn't want to be there or breastfeed. 

These situations are never easy, but you can certainly learn from them!

~Lisa Marasco

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