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Subject:
From:
"Glass, Marsha" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 20 Jun 2002 09:47:27 -0500
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Annie was offended by my remarks.  My humble apologies.  You did indeed leave out important details!  Not knowing you at all, the story sounded quite different without details filled in.  I am putting no agenda in my comments, just a reminder that our society is filled with ways to undermine mothers
in their mothering ability.  The books we dislike present methods for distancing mothers from their babies.  I was just pointing out that, even with the best of intentions, we have to be careful how we present help to mothers.  Actually, I had a similar situation to yours recently.  I have helped
the daughter of a couple I know at our church with breastfeeding.  This daughter was adopted as an older baby, so grandma had no experience with breastfeeding or even with newborns.  Anyway, grandma had the baby, now 4-5 months old, at a practice recently and baby was crying and wouldn't stop.  I
wanted to take the baby very badly, but I was in the practice and couldn't leave.  Grandma gave the baby eventually to someone else who wasn't saying she wasn't able to comfort her either and joined our practice, but when I went out of the room 10-15 minutes later, the baby was still crying,
sobbing, and surrounded by a group of adults who had apparently all had a go and couldn't calm her.  Mind you, one was a man and one a woman with no children of her own, so probably not a lot of experience there!  Anyway, I asked if I could hold her and was told, sure, maybe you could do something
for her.  She quieted immediately as I walked away with her cradled on my shoulder talking to her softly about how the world wasn't such a bad place.  It took her several moments of deeps sighs before she quieted completely and drifted off to sleep.  I learned those skills of using motion on several
levels and soft talking to comfort and quiet during my years of mothering 4, now mostly grown children.  I used to whisper very quietly into my babies ears at church when they started to make noise and it always worked.  They'd quiet to hear what I was saying to them!  In such settings, where
shhhhhh makes as much noise as the baby you're trying to quiet, very softly whispering works well.

Again, Anna, no offense was intended.  It helps, and I learned this the hard way, to read your post with a fresh eye before you send it, to see how it might sound to someone else.  From yours, I pictured a stranger walking up to a mom on the beach and asking to take her crying baby to see if she
could calm it!  The difference, as they say, is in the details!

Marsha, who is really in need of her upcoming vacation.  Can you tell?

Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




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