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Subject:
From:
"Sue Jacoby, IBCLC" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 26 Nov 2006 21:43:06 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
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Personally I have never found "what are you doing to solve the problem?" to
be a particularly helpful question..  It comes across to me as loaded and
judgemental.  As for the intimation that Lactnetters might not be
sufficently" part of the solution," I would respectfully ask for some data
to support such a comment.

I believe it was established at the initiation of this list that this would
be a place for breastfeeding advocates to meet, for, among other things:
sharing information and experiences, and also specifically to VENT about the
frustrations we face when trying to provide information and support to
breastfeeding mothers and babies.  I have been here from the beginning, and
I am not aware that this has changed.  There have been times over the years
when this purpose has been questioned by someone who was offended by the
intensity of the discussion, but it has been reiterated that this IS an
appropriate place to vent.

As one very well known and respected  LC once said here: 

Lactnet serves many purposes.  One clearly is to give
lone-LCs a place to vent, cry, brag or laugh.


There are some useful things about venting.  One is to get some "stuff" out
of one's system- to clear it so that something more positive or helpful can
be put in it's place.  Also, in the course of venting we can sometimes see,
if we are open minded and self critical, a place where we may be getting a
little dramatic or "off" about something, and we can rein in whatever
reactivity we were indulging in at the time, and chose a new course of action.

So while venting is sometimes either given a bad name, or minimized as not
worthy of our time, I think it is vitally important.

I see, time and time again on this list, people come here to report on the
frustration of their situation, including all of their raw hurt and anger
for themselves and for their clients or family members, and then they get
support, understanding, clear thinking ideas and suggestions, and then they
go back in there and face another day.  Just like making sausage, this may
not be a place to come if you will be bothered by life-as-it-is in the back
room before we get "clear" enough to go back out into the world.

And as far as hubris is concerned, I believe sincerely that as a whole,
breastfeeding advocates are some of the MOST tactful people around.  This
may come in part from the LLL culture, in which we have believed we should
always tread very, very softly.  If anything, I sometimes think we are a bit
timid and meek about what we know to best practices- which may be why so
many come here to agonize about what to do when a doctor seems not to know
much about breastfeeding. 

Respectfully,
Sue Jacoby, IBCLC

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