Ginny,
I would encourage the mother to try nursing or  at least pump for the twin.
 The benefits for this baby will be very important and at least pumping will
make her feel like she is doing something special for this baby.  Twin moms
often express that breast feeding gives them time to spend with each twin
 and helps them gain a feel for each baby's uniqueness.  I have worked with
moms that have baby with bilateral cleft and breast feeding was found to be
very difficult and the moms generally find that they have to bottle feed.
(any way you feed these little guys is difficult).  She is no doubt feeling
guilty and dealing with a severe sense of loss and pumping will help her
through this, let alone the fact that giving this baby breast milk will help
avoid illness etc.  The biggest need for this mom will be help!!!  She needs
to find every availble person who can to help her with household tasks etc.

Good luck and prayers to this family
Linda Rosetti, RN IBCLC
Clarkston, WA.