Our internet access has been finicky for the past 2 weeks, so maybe this
has already been said, but...

I imagine our babies expect to be born to mothers who stay pretty much
naked, and expect not to be put down for months and months (where would
you put a baby where the ants wouldn't crawl all over him?).  Even those
of us who are convinced we meet our babies' needs fully aren't mothering
the way primitive mothers mothered. And I doubt that we can step beyond
our cultural walls to see every way in which we differ.  (I like the
notion that many of our over-supplies relate to over-nutrition, and that
babies with over-stocked mothers may need their thumbs!)

But why apologize?  *I* certainly don't want to run around topless.  It's
*cold* here.  And I can't engage in the same activities that my stone age
sisters did.  And I do drive a car, which means I couldn't hold my baby
all the time even if I wanted to.  So we all do our best.  For some kids,
maybe that's just not enough.

My husband and I actively encouraged our firstborn to like lying on a certain
"punkin pad" so that I could nurse him to sleep while I held it and him,
then set him down and walk away.  It worked.  At 16, he still keeps a tattered
remnant of "punkin pad", wrapped in its 3rd layer of fabric, at his
pillow.  Do I think we could have parented differently?  Sure.  Do I feel
guilty?  Hey, he had a vastly better start than the vast majority of kids
in our culture, and it shows in his wonderful health and personality.

So who cares if thumb sucking in some of our fully breastfed,
continuum-concept-mothered children means we were unable to meet every
need through our 20th century attempts at biological mothering?
We were doomed at that from the start, but we're doing a wonderful job of
raising truly wonderful children.  Ain't they fine?

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY  [log in to unmask]