I'd like to add a comment to the sleep discussion.  That comment is just to
remind us of two physiological facts.

First, at the time of birth, the baby has already been falling aleep while
being held for many months---however long it is that the baby's brain has been
organizing its functioning in periods of waking and sleeping.  So the mother
has already been present, and the closest possible contact with her body has
been the environment in which the baby has already learned to fall asleep.

Second, sucking stimulates the baby's production of CCK (cholecystokinin),
which has a calming and sleep-inducing effect on the baby's brain.  So
feeding/nursing/pacifying at the breast is an activity which naturally puts
babies to sleep, especially the young ones.

Being aware of these two facts, I used to wonder at the advice which I would
hear pediatricians giving to mothers before they left the hospital with their
newborns, which was "Don't let your baby fall asleep nursing."  It sounds like
a reasonable approach, but it ignores the reality of some babies' functioning.

Denise, I very much appreciated your second posting on this subject.  I was
worried that you might feel that you had been attacked by all the comments and
stories.  I was glad to hear that your son was such a good sleeper and "easy"
baby.  And I know that my own attitude, which is that it's OK for babies and
children to want/need parental input for getting to sleep, was formed by my
own experiences, both as a child who for years---until my late teens---had
trouble going to sleep in a room by myself, and as the parent of my first
baby, who did not fall asleep easily by herself---we did try!---but fell
asleep fine when I nursed her and lay down with her.

My question is: how much of what we say to parents---or how much of HOW we say
it to parents---comes from our own experiences, either as parents or as
children?  We are trying to be "professional," or at least trying to be
"wise."  We are dealing with people, both the parent and the child, who are
vulnerable---that means "capable of being wounded."  I suspect that what we
say to the parents is much lass important than how we listen to what the
parents are saying.  I hope that, by listening well to them, we show them how
their baby also deserves to be heard.