"He actually challenged me to ask my husband, once I finish with breastfeeding ­ because now I am too emotionally
involved as he said it ­ to ask him what he felt when he saw me breastfeeding my child."

To me, this is the most telling of all the things you've written about the conversation. I may be off the mark here, but in reading the rest of it, and then this tidbit, I really feel this has nothing at all to do with what he's seeing in his practice, or his breastfeeding mom's. 

This goes back to that very old sentiment that father's get jealous of mom's very closely bonded relationship with the breastfed baby, and if she would just give up the breastfeeding, then he will finally have an even footing with baby. But until then, there is no way he can compete with the breast. And unless I miss my guess, which I doubt, that is exactly the way he felt about the bond his wife had with his children while they were breastfeeding. An outsider looking in, on a relationship he can't hope to compete with, but he desperately wanted that kind of bond.

This is why it is so important to support the family as a whole, a triad, as opposed to dyad, and really get those dad's in there and understanding what a important role they have in the family, and that breastfeeding isn't robbing them of a tender relationship and bonding with their baby.  

Which brings me round to the question posed, how to deal with it? My honest opinion is that nothing evidence based is going to sway this man. It may create a small crack in his defense, but it will not sway him.  It is difficult to fight emotion with reason. You can argue your point and provide articles, but until he has a man (or two, or ten) tell him that breastfeeding was the best thing his wife ever did for their family and that it provided an environment in which his family could ultimately bond and grow, he will continue to feel that breastfeeding creates an isolationist environment that shuts out fathers.

Just my two cents.
Angela Hartfelder IBCLC, RLC

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