The British newpapers have released the surprising news that the Royal
Opera at Convent Gardens has cancelled its contract with Deborah Voight
for her leading role in the Strauss opera "Ariadne".  Ms. Voight has
evidently been gaining weight and is now considered not sufficiently
thin to wear the clothes for the production or move around the stage
with the proper speed and decorum.

I wasn't aware that the Royal Opera uses the same standards as a Hooters
restaurant.  Given the change in thinking, it might be best to hire
Jennifer Simpson for the role - she's a singer too.  Wait a minute!  How
about Pamela Anderson?  That would insure a full house.  She can't sing,
but she can't act either.

Don Satz
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