I started this last year and promise a follow up.  We are busy revamping
our kids section:
 
Got some good jokes that can't go on a kids page, got some originals, and
lots of repeats on ones that have been around for some time:
 
Jokes:
 
From Tom Elliot's brother, U.S.A.
 
1) What singing group was famous throughout the hives during the 60s?
 
Peter, Pollen, and Mary
 
2) Sign found inside a beehive:
 
"The surgeon general warns that smoking is hazarous to your honey"
 
From Al Needham's wife (Al, does she have a name?), U.S.A.
 
3) How does the Queen Bee communicate with her hive?
 
She uses her cell phone!
 
From Trevor Weatherhead, Australia
 
4) Where do the baby bees sleep?
 
In an apiary-cot (apricot).
 
From [log in to unmask] (no signature)
 
5) Don: I went out to my beeyard this morning and could not find my bees.
I wonder why?
 
Jerry: Maybe they were playing hive and seek with you.
 
From Alyn Ashworth, Lancashire, UK
 
6) The oldest of them all:
 
What goes  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUB, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUB?
 
A bee flying backwards!
 
Some of oft repeated jokes that I have heard over the years.
The first two may be as old as Alyn's joke:
 
7) Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
 
8) Where did Noah keep his bees?
 
In the Ark Hive!
 
9)  What does the queen use to fix her hair?
A honeycomb.
 
10) Why did the bees fly around with all six legs crossed?
 
They couldn't find a rest room.
 
This one came in several versions, depending on the country of origin:
find a bathroom, find a gas station, find an BP station.
 
From Janice D. Green, (http://users.aol.com/queenbjanbeefun.htm) who sent
these on and posts them on her copyrighted web page.  I assume that the
story by David is original.  Some of the jokes are repeats of those listed
above.  These may be original:
 
11) What did the queen bee and the drone do before they flew away from the
hive?
 
They hired a bee bee sitter.
 
12) What grade did the students get on their pollination experiment?
 
They all got B's.
 
 
Nick Wallingford, New Zealand contributed a Canadian version of a little
ditty that I learned as a kid (which probably dates both of us).  His
version was slightly different, and he the found a citation for the
original, which is the one I learned from my dad:
 
I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
but it keeps them on the knife!
 
- Bennett
 
But neither Nick nor I know who Bennett was.
 
Nick also offered:
 
There was a man who loved bees.
He always was their friend.
He used to site upon their hive.
But they stung him, in the end.
 
Normally I don't like anything that draws attention to stinging, but this
one is cute.
 
Nick also provided the most politically correct version of the following:
 
What was the last thing to pass through the bee's mind when it hit the
car's windscreen?  (windowshield in the U.S.)
 
Her bum.  (the New Zealand phrasing works better than some of the U.S.
versions)
 
ANNNNND, then there were the jokes that just don't belong on a kids page,
but pretty funny.
 
 
If you sent a "clean" joke and it is not on this list, send again.
 
We can all use a laugh, and these will go onto our revised kid's page.
 
 
 
Jerry J. Bromenshenk, Ph.D.
Director, DOE/EPSCoR & Montana Organization for Research in Energy
The University of Montana-Missoula
Missoula, MT  59812-1002
E-Mail: [log in to unmask]
Tel:  406-243-5648
Fax:  406-243-4184
http://www.umt.edu/biology/more
http://www.umt.edu/biology/bees