Karen Oland said:

> I have an Epipen and have never used it.

Then it may be well past its expiration date.
Every Epi-pen has an expiration date stamped on it.
None have a useful lifespan of more than a year or two.

Unless one is far from the nearest doctor, I'd suggest that keeping
car keys in the ignition and a bottle of Benadryl in the glove
compartment will do more good in a real emergency than an Epi-pen.

If I had a visitor get stung and react badly, "having an Epi-Pen" would
mean I'd have to:

a)  Run to the house

b)  Dodge the cat lounging in the doorway

c)  Leap over/around the dogs, who view even a return from
     a mere 5-minute absence as grounds for a full-scale
     reunion celebration

d)  Run to the bathroom, throw open the medicine
     cabinet, dodge an entire alphabet of falling
     vitamin bottles, grab the Epi-pen... no, wait a second...
     that's NOT the Epi-pen, its one of those mascara
     things... here it is!  Nope, that's an eyebrow thing...
     ...In the Kitchen...!

e)  Run to the kitchen, bang shin against 5-gallon pail of high-gluten
     stone-ground flour left by wife in the middle of the floor,
     throw open fridge door, sending several near-empty condiment
     bottles on sub-orbital trajectories, start emptying fridge looking
     for the elusive Epi-pen, which is sure to have worked its way behind
     everything, find the Epi-pen (no, that's a ball-point pen - must have
     fallen out of my pocket the last time I leaned over the vegetable
     crisper drawer)  ...hey, maybe in the FREEZER...

f)   Open freezer, yell as a 15-pound rack of lamb falls out and hits my
     left foot, but find the Epi-pen taped to inside of freezer door with bright
     red tape, helpfully labeled "Epi-Pen" with bold letters in handwriting
     that looks like... mine.

g)  Reverse route back to victim, limping while I run.  Note that the
     canine celebration is now more intense, as they see that you are
     leaving, and suspect a potential opportunity for a RIDE!! in the CAR!!!!
     Evasive maneuvers are again required.

h)  By now, if the victim really needed an Epi-pen at all, he likely
     can't breathe much, and is swelling faster than the US budget deficit.
     At this point, one will realize that the ballpoint pen you came across
     may be of more practical value than the Epi-pen, because you are about
     to perform your first-ever emergency tracheotomy to keep the victim breathing....

In the same elapsed time, someone with an understanding of how much
easier it is to pay a speeding ticket than to pay last respects at someone's
funeral could have been halfway to a real medical professional, and the victim
could have swallowed half a dozen Benadryl from the bottle in the glove compartment.

And I'd forget about trying to call 911 yourself.  Let someone else do that.
Driving 90 in a 45mph zone while dialing 911 on your cellphone is a rare
skill in itself, as is trying to explain the problem to the emergency operator
over the sound of an engine doing 4500 rpm:

        You:    "Anaphylaxis..."

             911:   "Anna fell on axes?"

        You:   "No, I said anaphylactic shock!"

            911:    "Anna fell on her back and got shocked?"

        You:   "Anaphylactic shock means 'allergic' "

        911:    "Anna has been shot by some mean old jerk?"

        You:   "No, my friend is venom-allergic and cold, Miss..."

        911:    "Your friend has been allergic to Anna Nicole Smith?"

...so just focus on getting to someone who can deal with the problem
without hitting a tree along the way.

        jim