I received this from a friend and thought I might share it with the MCML.
I have no way in confirming the veracity of it though.  But here it is for
whatever it's worth.

   For opera lovers and opera haters alike, we reprint herewith the
   "English" synopsis of _Carmen_, as it appeared in the program for
   a recent performance in Genoa, Italy.  Doubters should leave the
   auditorium:  we have seen it with our own eyes.

   "Act 1.  Carmen is a cigar-makeress from a tabago factory who loves
   with Don Jose of the mounting guard.  Carmen takes a flower from her
   corsets and lances it to Don Jose (Duet:  'Talk me of my mother').
   There is a noise inside the tabago factory and the revolting
   cigar-makeresses burst into the stage.  Carmen is arrested and Don
   Jose is ordered to mounting guard her but Carmen subduces him and he
   lets her escape.

   "Act 2.  The Tavern.  Carmen, Frasquito, Mercedes, Zuniga, Morales.
   Carmen's aria ('The sistrums are tinkling').  Enter Escamillio,
   a balls-fighter.  Enter two smuglers (Duet:  'We have in mind a
   business') but Carmen refuses to penetrate because Don Jose has
   liberated her from prison.  He just now arrives (Aria:  'Stop, here
   who comes!') but hear are the bugles singing his retreat.  Don Jose
   will leave and draws his sword.  Called by Carmen shrieks the two
   smuglers interfere with her but Don Jose is bound to dessert, he will
   follow into them (final chorus:  'Opening sky wandering life').

   "Act 3.  A roky landscape, the smuglers shelter.  Carmen sees her
   death in cards and Don Jose makes a date with Carmen for the next
   balls fight.

   "Act 4.  A place in Seville.  Procession of balls-fighters, the
   roaring of the balls is heard in the arena.  Escamillio enters (Aria
   and chorus:  'Toreador, toreador, all hail the balls of a Toreador').
   Enter Don Jose (Aria:  'I do not threaten, I besooch you') but Carmen
   repels him wants to join with Escamillio now chaired by the crowd.
   Don Jose stabbs her (Aria:  'Oh rupture, rupture, you may arrest me,
   I did kill her') he sings 'Oh my beautiful Carmen, my subductive
   Carmen.'"

J G Castillo
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