Well, fellow listers and listerines, I had the fortune to actually see the
Anne-Sophie Mutter CD cover that caused so much distress.

Oh, my.  Now, let me tell you, I am as red-blooded a male as the next guy.
And, yes, Ms. Mutter looks alluring in her modest shirt and jeans (I think
that was what she was wearing).  Lissen, it was The Seasons, and she was
doing Summer.  Do you mind? But it certainly did not excite me as much as
some of the very nice ladies who were check-out clerks.  I fear that never
before has so much discussion been launched by so many with so little
reason.  And here I was, counting the days until I could actually go down
even unto the record store, to see this thing that had come to pass, that
the list had made known unto us.  If I were capable of blushing, I would
blush.  A.-S. M. passes the Arch good housekeeping seal of approval.

Lara St. John, on the other hand gets a bonus prize for her cover.  *Her*
CD I actually bought.  It was suggestive and outrageous, and, honestly,
she may have been perfectly decently clothed behind that annoying violin.
What nerve!  Shame on her.  Nice picture, though.

Now then.  I wish I knew more about unaccompanied violin playing.  This
is the only recording (yes, only, and it took that dastardly cover to make
me do it, and the $2.99 price) of the unaccompanied suites that I own.  The
playing seems--OK.  I would have liked the jig to be a little livelier, but
I have had my wrist slapped before for expressing the preference for these
concert dances to be actually danceable.  ("They're *based* on dances,
stupid; you're not supposed to actually DANCE to the blasted things!
Imagine the mess it would cause at a concert if everyone upped and
danced...yakkety yak blah blah...") Anyway, it's a gigue, not a jig.
Okay, mea culpa, to quote Linda Tritt.

I had to leave for school just as the chaconne was coming on.  (There was
lots of hype in the liner notes about the chaconne, and how Brahms just
loved them to pieces.) Stay tuned for more outsider comments on these here
unaccompanied suites.  I guess the other fellow was right: I was wrong to
say "Who needs it!" There's always one more CD you can buy, if it's priced
right, and it has the right kind of cover!

Seriously, though, this cover business was blown way out of proportion.
Anne-Sophie Mutter's CD cover was positively innocent.  Show me someone
who objects to this CD cover, and I'll show you someone who needs to get
out more.

Arch