Singing Child Not Ready for Music Career
   Joshua Kosman, Chronicle Music Critic
   Tuesday, March 16, 1999

   Want a classical career these days? Better have a gimmick.

   That certainly seems to be the reason Welsh soprano Charlotte Church
   has conquered hearts all across Great Britain.  Sure, she sings, but
   that's not the angle: It's that Charlotte is just 12 years old.

   The pint-sized diva is now set to sweep the United States as her
   Sony Classical CD "Voice of an Angel" -- already a double-platinum
   chart-topper in the United Kingdom -- hits the record stores today,
   backed by an appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show this afternoon
   (3 p.m., Channel 7) and on other talk shows throughout the week.

   Well, it's a scam, of course, which should come as no surprise to
   anyone with an interest in singing.

   I have no doubt that Church is an irrepressibly charismatic little
   sprite, based on the toothy portraits that bedeck her CD booklet and
   the reports of her many appearances in Europe, including performances
   for Prince Charles and the pope.  Rosie will have a lot of fun.

   But the disc is rubbish, a weird attempt to convince a listener that
   -- despite all evidence to the contrary -- this child has in fact
   mastered the art of classical singing.

   Even setting her sights as low as an excerpt from Andrew Lloyd Webber's
   "Requiem," a variety of British standbys such as "Jerusalem" and
   "Danny Boy" and the prayer from "Hansel and Gretel," Church comes up
   -- you should pardon the expression -- short.

   Her singing is sweet and her diction clear; she offers appealing
   versions of a few Welsh folk songs, and a particularly lovely
   traditional number called "My Lagan Love."

   But anyone not blinded by her charm must also get past her breathy,
   piping tone, her intermittently unsteady pitch and breath control
   and her faceless, by-the-numbers interpretations.

   This is a child who would be a particularly remarkable asset to a
   parish church choir.  But a star soloist? It is to laugh.

   It truly is, and I wish I could wax more lighthearted about the whole
   affair.  But there's something unseemly about the enterprise, something
   reminiscent of child beauty pageants or the creepier excesses of
   Little League.  Is the world so desperate for vocal talent that we
   need to start raiding the elementary schools? Give the kid -- and us
   -- a break.

   RATING: One star

Janos Gereben/SF
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