My old community orchestra conductor used to say that when working with
amateur orchestras he would tell them "If you can't play well, play loud!"
He was cured of this when he was conducting an orchestra of doctors and
the concertmistress stood up and said "If you say that one more time we're
gonna get you on the operating table and say 'If you can't cut right, cut
deep!'" He never said it again.

Aaron J. Rabushka
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