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Thu, 30 Apr 1998 23:38:33 -0500 |
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Hello
Many moons ago when I was an active LLLL, my husband told me of a
conversation he overheard between two women in the staff lounge at work.
One said, "I saw the worst thing yesterday. A child in a stroller in the
mall, she must have been at least two and a half, with a soother stuck in
her mouth!!" Her companion was suitably horrified.
My husband, well indoctrinated by me, leaned into the conversation and
said, "Babies have a need to suck for years and if allowed to wean
themselves will nurse to about three and a half."
"That was the olden days," the woman said.
"Babies haven't changed," he replied, "Just the grown ups!"
I have found that there is little tolerance for babies to be babies whether
breast or bottle-fed. 2, 3, and 4 year olds are discouraged
(understatement) from thumb sucking or using bottles or soothers.
When parents ask about how long to breastfeed I usually ask about the
oldest nursing child they know of - their response is always a good
indication of their feelings on the topic.
I usually suggest that they not make any decisions ahead of time. Usually
I say that most mothers find that they grow into the relationship with
their own child. Sometimes I say that I never expected to be sleeping with
an older man but after many years of marriage - here I am. Sometimes I tell
the above story. Sometimes I tell them about how I ask my 5yo niece when
she was going to quit sucking her thumb and she answered, "When my daddy
quits smoking!"
I hope to plant a seed and that the parents will see their children's needs
as something that must be filled, whatever their comfort is... :)
Joy
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