How do I handle these calls?  On a case-by-case basis, then like a soft-hearted, weak-willed, hyper-frugal, no-brained moron I tell them I'll do it.  I could tell you a hundred different stories of 40-foot ladders and 2nd story buildings, or of tearing out sheet rock from the inside and honey comb dripping all over the carpet.  
   
  Nothing is ever as easy as it looks and you get some very interested homeowner asking a million questions.  (That's why it's a good idea to take my wife along.  She loves to visit and distract the homeowner while I do the extraction.  She rents out at $10 per hour and 49 cents a mile for those of you who are interested.  Meals are optional.)
   
  My story is like yours:  I'll cut it open and remove the bees, then the homeowner or their contractor fixes it from there.  However, vinyl siding and brick are not conducive to removals, and more and more the success/survival rate back in the hive after the removal has not been worth my time and effort.  It's cheaper to buy a package if you really want the bees.
   
  I've never charged for an extraction, not even for gas.  Some people give me a donation to offset my expenses, but for the most part I get the bees and hive products as my compensation.  I removed two colonies from a lawyer's shed and I gave him the address of my church to make a donation to the deacon's fund.  He sent $100 and it made me feel good.
   
  Then there are the hives in a hollow tree with an entrance twenty feet off the ground and they don't want to cut down the tree.  I often get the question, "Can't you just reach inside there and grab the queen and they'll all come out?"  Yeah, and can you reach into the front pocket of my pants and pull out the Delware state quarter?
   
  And then there are a host of trees cut down for logging and the comb is all pancaked together once they fell the tree.  Half of the honey has oozed out on the ground and then the rest of the tree has yet to be cut up to access the comb.  Can I come out and remove the bees?  Most of those bees are dead.  The rest are flying around like lost children.
   
  And 99.99% of the world claims to be allergic to bee stings so I have to come out and get those bees right now.
   
  I'm backing way off this year.  Then the response is, "Who else should I call?" or the threat, "Well, then I'm gonna kill them bees."  In the past, I've been the only beekeeper adventurous enough (spelled f-o-o-l-h-a-r-d-y) to do this type of "rescue."  I'm going to request they leave the bees alone as long as they're not bothering anybody.  I have a great relationship with area exterminators who refuse to kill honeybees.  Maybe no one will step up to the plate and remove them and we can just let them live.
   
  Last year I limited my swarm calls and removals to the three county area close to my home.  I get calls from over a hundred miles asking me to come remove swarms.  This year I'm going to take clusters hanging on branches.  My success with bait hives and swarm traps fulfills my frugality for free bees.  Someone else can take the extractions from buildings.
   
  Or maybe I'll start charging a decent wage for my time and gas.
   
  Grant
  Jackson, MO



       
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