Singing Child Not Ready for Music Career
Joshua Kosman, Chronicle Music Critic
Tuesday, March 16, 1999
Want a classical career these days? Better have a gimmick.
That certainly seems to be the reason Welsh soprano Charlotte Church
has conquered hearts all across Great Britain. Sure, she sings, but
that's not the angle: It's that Charlotte is just 12 years old.
The pint-sized diva is now set to sweep the United States as her
Sony Classical CD "Voice of an Angel" -- already a double-platinum
chart-topper in the United Kingdom -- hits the record stores today,
backed by an appearance on the Rosie O'Donnell Show this afternoon
(3 p.m., Channel 7) and on other talk shows throughout the week.
Well, it's a scam, of course, which should come as no surprise to
anyone with an interest in singing.
I have no doubt that Church is an irrepressibly charismatic little
sprite, based on the toothy portraits that bedeck her CD booklet and
the reports of her many appearances in Europe, including performances
for Prince Charles and the pope. Rosie will have a lot of fun.
But the disc is rubbish, a weird attempt to convince a listener that
-- despite all evidence to the contrary -- this child has in fact
mastered the art of classical singing.
Even setting her sights as low as an excerpt from Andrew Lloyd Webber's
"Requiem," a variety of British standbys such as "Jerusalem" and
"Danny Boy" and the prayer from "Hansel and Gretel," Church comes up
-- you should pardon the expression -- short.
Her singing is sweet and her diction clear; she offers appealing
versions of a few Welsh folk songs, and a particularly lovely
traditional number called "My Lagan Love."
But anyone not blinded by her charm must also get past her breathy,
piping tone, her intermittently unsteady pitch and breath control
and her faceless, by-the-numbers interpretations.
This is a child who would be a particularly remarkable asset to a
parish church choir. But a star soloist? It is to laugh.
It truly is, and I wish I could wax more lighthearted about the whole
affair. But there's something unseemly about the enterprise, something
reminiscent of child beauty pageants or the creepier excesses of
Little League. Is the world so desperate for vocal talent that we
need to start raiding the elementary schools? Give the kid -- and us
-- a break.
RATING: One star
Janos Gereben/SF
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