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Creationist Museum Declares that the 11th Dimension is Heaven
Petersburg, KY (AP)
String theory has been debunked by theoretical physicists such as Lee Smolin
as “it ain’t even wrong” because it can’t be empirically tested. But Dr.
Boyle, staff physicist at the newly formed Creationist Museum, has recently
identified the 11th dimension specified in String Theory as heaven. Boyle is
best known for his calculations for “how hot is hell” by using his
great-great grandfathers law, Boyle’s Law, to calculate the actual increase in the
temperature of Hell as the number of souls there increase. (We note that there
has been a particular spike in the temperature of Hell with the growing
decadence of the world.)
In string theory, the elementary particles we observe in particle
accelerators could be thought of as the "musical notes" or excitation modes of
elementary strings. String theory strongly suggests the existence of ten or eleven
(in M-theory) spacetime dimensions, as opposed to the usual four (three
spatial and one temporal) used in relativity. Research by Boyle and others at the
Creation Museum reveals that these extra dimensions are comprised of the
following:
Dimension 5: Purple Haze
Dimension 6: Black Holes (or in earthly terms, Las Vegas, because what
happens in Vegas stays in Vegas)
Dimension 7: The 7th circle of hell (referred to by Al Qaeda, where bombers
are united with virgins).
Dimension 8: New Jersey
Dimension 9: Dark Matter (or Purgatory)
Dimension 10: Nirvana
Dimension 11: Heaven
Philosophically, string theory might not be truly fundamental in its present
formulation because it is background-dependent: each string theory is built
on a fixed spacetime background. However, Creation Museum scientists believe
they will soon find the absolute and fundamental formulation with further
research. Recent developments in mathematics and logic, such as irrational
numbers and fuzzy logic, are instrumental in the new mathematical explanations
that Creation Museum scientists are using to support their theoretical
advances.
-- Taken from the wire by Bob Russell, Learning Experience Design,
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