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  Here's some interesting news:


Subject: new element

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic 
mass
of 312.

These particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 
Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be 
detected, as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute 
amount
of Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take over 4 days to complete, 
when it
would normally take less than a second.

GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal 1/2-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will 
actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe 
that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass"

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an 
element
which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but 
twice
as many morons.

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