America would never declare war on Quebec, not after the wonderful
2000 SHA Conference. Also why is this message from England. Is not
that former kingdom just a province of the new E.C.
RL Schuyler
At 08:44 AM 11/15/2000 -0500, you wrote:
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>Some may consider this irrelevant to archaeology, but since it was first
>posted on the very august Britarch list, I felt it would be worth passing on=
>
>to a US-based constituency, especially given the sense of humour widely
>attributed by the public to archaeologists...
>
>
>_________________________
>William Moss RPA
>
>Arch=E9ologue principal
>Design et Patrimoine
>H=F4tel de Ville
>CP 700 Haute-Ville
>Qu=E9bec (Qu=E9bec)
>Canada G1R 4S9
>T=E9l. : 418.691.6869
>Fax : 418.691.7853
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>_________________________
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>Date: 15 Nov 2000 07:16:57
>From: Bill Bevan <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: FW: US Elections
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>Now, ofcourse no one wants to be bitchy, but....it made me giggle and is as
>much about Britian as it is about whatsitstates.
>
>>NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>>To the citizens of the United States of America,
>>In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA
>>and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
>>revocation of your independence, effective today.
>
>>Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial
>>dutiesover all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah,
>which she
>>does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair,
>>MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
>world
>>outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the
>>need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
>>questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
>>you noticed.
>>
>> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
>> rules are introduced with immediate effect:
>>
>> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
>> Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
>amazed
>> at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
>> raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using
>the
>> same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
>> "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look
>> up "interspersed".
>>
>> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
>> your behalf.
>>
>> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
>> It really isn't that hard.
>>
>> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
>> good guys.
>>
>> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
>> Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
>to get
>> confused and give up half way through.
>>
>> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
>> of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
>> game.
>>
>> The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
>> may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
>> longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
>>
>> Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
>> difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
>> play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
>> stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
>> armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby
>sevens
>> side by 2005.
>>
>> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
>> they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
>> is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The
>> Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
>>
>> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
>> national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
>> Day".
>>
>> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
>> own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
>>
>> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>>
>> Thank you for your cooperation.
>>
>> _________________________________________________________________________
>> Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
>>
>> Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at
>> http://profiles.msn.com.
>>
>>
>>
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>
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>--Boundary_(ID_MsAPg0XHw9ykSl3oCPZzHQ)--
>
>
Robert L. Schuyler
University of Pennsylvania Museum
33rd & Spruce Streets
Philadelphia, PA l9l04-6324
Tel: (215) 898-6965
Fax: (215) 898-0657
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