The following appeared under my byline in today's Victoria
Times-Colonist:
It can scarcely have escaped notice that Bruce More and Connie Foss
More have between them created more new choirs in Victoria than, well
than anyone else. Indeed, it sometimes seems that their ultimate
goal is to get everybody in Victoria who can sing into one of their
choirs.
There is one group, though, that until recently had resisted all
blandishments.
Bruce: "There are a lot of people out there who have good voices,
but who are too embarrassed to sing in public; the only time you'll
hear them singing is in the shower."
Hence the new choir. The Mores use the name VIVA for their younger
choirs (8-16 years) and PRIMA for the older (16-20s). Their new,
adult chorus is to be called The LOOFA Bathroom Choir.
So far Bruce and Connie have recruited over 30 people for the LOOFA
choir, and are eagerly seeking more, especially (the old, old story!)
tenors and basses.
Rehearsing, though, can be tricky.
Bruce: "The main problem is that they are all extremely shy about
singing. It's the whole reason they're there, of course, so we can't
complain about it. Instead we rehearse in the showers at one of the
local swimming pools; the steam means that nobody can be clearly
seen, although that can make it difficult for the conductor to make
his or her wishes clear!"
The other problem is that rehearsals have to be held "after hours",
by special arrangement, since men and women are not normally allowed
into public showers at the same time.
What about the scores?
Connie: "It's impossible to keep the music dry, so we have to have
the scores specially printed on plastic, which isn't cheap. And the
choir members who wear glasses do tend to have a harder time -- we
encourage them to use contact lenses if possible."
Is there any particular repertoire you're working on?
Bruce: "Anything that lends itself to long pauses, allowing a
significant echo, tends to sound great! We do a lot of foreign
languages, too, because the words get so muffled it doesn't matter
if no-one understands or can pronounce the text. In fact, enunciation
is not a big issue, as it is with our other choirs. And Christopher
Butterfield's timeless arrangement of 'Minnie the Mermaid' is another
piece we're working on."
I can also exclusively reveal that they are planning the North
American (and possibly world) premiere of Fra Pollio's Avanti nel
Bagno, sciocco di Aprile! written for bathroom acoustics in the
16th century, but never performed because it calls for mixed voices.
Have the rehearsal venues led to any "difficulties"?
Bruce: "It's surprising how sociable some of the choir members can
get after rehearsal, considering how shy they are before. But we do
encourage partners to come to rehearsal, to reassure themselves that
everything is above board. Of course we plan to have segregated
rehearsals for the PRIMA choir when we get that started. We don't
anticipate a need for a VIVA version -- children that young are rarely
shy enough to qualify."
Connie: "We have a dress code, as well; obviously people are going
to wear bathing suits to rehearse and we want to ensure that they
are not too distracting for the other singers -- people only tend
to be concerned that the others can't see their faces."
As for auditions, as Bruce and Connie tell it, most of their current
members didn't volunteer -- they were volunteered. Typically their
partner would arrange for one or other of the Mores to come around
and listen outside the bathroom door while the potential choir member
was actually in the shower.
In that way anyone who failed the audition didn't even realise they
had been auditioning; although, in fact, it is almost impossible to
fail. (There have only been two people who did and in both cases
their partner turned out to be completely tone deaf)
But what about that name?
LOOFA is named, not, as you might think, after the long, sponge-like
device we use to scrub our backs, but in honour of Loofa Lrip, the
so-called "Albanian Singing Plumber" who was the toast of European
Society Bathrooms in the inter-war years.
The Archduke of Gjirokaster, Loofa was also "Keeper of the Royal
Bathrooms", a post created by his second cousin, King Zog, to keep
him under the family's watchful eye.
The "Plugfinder General" (as the dispossessed liberal intelligentsia
disparagingly called him) turned out to have hidden talents -- talents
which only emerged when he started to take his duties seriously and
make his tours of inspection of the 52 bathrooms in the Royal palace
at Tirane.
By all accounts, he had a wonderful lyric tenor voice; but nobody
could persuade him to perform anywhere except in the bathroom.
Except King Zog. An increasing number of influential foreign visitors
to Tirane heard Loofa's mellifluous tones ringing along the royal
corridors and asked about the singer. At a time when Albania was
still struggling to become independent from the rubble of the Ottoman
Empire, any favourable foreign press was to be encouraged.
And so Zog "persuaded" his cousin to embark upon a European tour;
the Ministry of Culture lined up dates in swimming pools, Turkish
Baths and similar venues -- anywhere, in fact, with a resonant
acoustic, water and anonymity.
The coming of war destroyed his career and today Loofa Lrip is a
forgotten name, but his spirit lives on here in Victoria.
Although there are unlikely to be any public concerts by LOOFA in
the near future, they are actively seeking a recording engineer who
is willing to subject his or her equipment to high-humidity conditions,
in which case a LOOFA Bathroom Choir CD might become available.
Meanwhile, those who, like Zoltan Kodaly, believe that "singing is
for everyone", can send donations. Potential donors & choristers
should call the Mores at 555-5555 for information.
Deryk Barker <[log in to unmask]>
|