Bill Mares said:
> A local newspaper reporter bent on a story about bees and beekeepers asked
> me if I knew anyone who is "deathly afraid of bees, but still keeps them out
> of love."
>
> I said I didn't know but would post to BEE-L. If you are (or know) such
> a person, reply to me off-list and I'll sic the reporter on you (him/her).
What a neat idea! Write "news articles" without the tedium of going out and
looking for any actual news. Any "sane" person is, of course, afraid of bees.
Therefore, the "story" must play up the "dangerous nature" of beekeeping.
Well, if you think about it, beekeeping IS dangerous. The bees themselves are
really the least dangerous aspect. There are lots of angles a reporter could write
about in this vein....
... the commercial beekeepers who are deathly afraid of bankruptcy,
but continue to keep bees, in hope of having one good year per decade.
... the researchers at the bee labs who are deathly afraid that they will
be budget-cut into unemployment, but continue to do useful work on the
paltry $0.03 per US taxpayer per year they get for ALL insect-related work.
... the sellers of beekeeping equipment, who are deathly afraid that colony
deaths will simply eliminate the concept of "industry growth", but continue
to print up and mail catalogs (costing at least a buck each) out of sheer love
of the business.
... the hobbyist beekeepers, who are deathly afraid that they will be buying
and feeding new packages every year for the rest of their lives to replace
dead-outs, but continue to keep bees.
... the package and queen breeders, who are deathly afraid that they will be
faced with insane levels of demand for spring queens and packages
again next year, and the no-win situation of being sure to have to say
"sold out" to some number of hitherto loyal customers.
... the growers of some significant fraction of the food we eat, who are
deathly afraid that there won't be enough pollinator hives to go around
again next year.
... the migratory pollinators, who are afraid that they will be stopped and
turned around at the California border again next year because of the
California fear of "imported fire ants" (as opposed to the large, healthy,
and widespread population of fire ants in California already).
... the honey importers, who are deathly afraid that tariffs on dumped
honey from you-know-where and you-know-where-else is only the
first step, and the next step will be actual point-of-entry testing on
bulk honey to "European standards".
... the Honey Board, who are deathly afraid that they will continue to be
treated like drones in September by the people they think they represent.
... the makers of corn syrup, who are deathly afraid that "Starlink" corn
contamination will suddenly make their glop more expensive and harder
to get than honey, thus driving the price of a box of "Honey Nut Cheerios"
to $42.75
... reporters like the one at hand, who are deathly afraid that they might have
to do some actual work if they can't write fluff pieces about beekeepers who
are afraid of bees, skydivers with acrophobia, coal miners with claustrophobia,
Baptist preachers with aquaphobia, and so on.
I'd suggest that the reporter stay in Vermont, and look for a Maple Syrup farmer
who is diabetic. Now THAT's an interesting human-interest story for Vermont
readers... :)
jim
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