"reality of having an infant in a nicu is fear for the child's life/fear that if you do not comply with the staff harm will come to your baby/fear of loosing your baby/neeeding these experts to "keep your baby alive" Well, you're right, of course, Patricia! I didn't mean to sound so harsh towards the parents - I DO know what it is like to 'sit in their chair'. My intention was to strengthen OURSELVES, to keep it always in the forefront of our minds that these are not "our" babies, and to remember to help empower parents rather than just rushing in to "save" everybody. I would never address a parent of an infant in a nicu this way. And largely I was just plain mad - and, given the story that I was responding to, I stand by my being angry about it. But yes, Patricia reminds us of something equally important: working with the parents in THEIR reality. Cathy Bargar RN IBCLC Ithaca NY *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html