In a message dated 98-03-19 22:28:47 EST, you write: << She was molested twice as a child and feels dirty about breastfeeding. My question is that in this case my idea is that maybe it would be better for her to bottlefeed. <snip> What are some of your ideas on this. Have you ever had to deal with someone who you just didn't feel needed to breastfeed? >> This mother's problem isn't breastfeeding, it's her feelings about her own body due to the molestation. While it makes sense to put breastfeeding on a back burner when dealing with a mom who has undone such trauma, don't forget that a positive, healthy look at one's own body is part of what breastfeeding can do for a woman. Also, with this mom's strong family history of cancer, the protective effects of breastfeeding for both herself and her child may be doubly important! It may be more productive to gently urge her into a counseling or therapy that will address the root issues, *then* let Mom make the decision, rather than simply accept that she can't do it. Of course she still may not, but she deserves a chance to make an informed decision and get the emotional support she needs. If you can find out about any therapists or counseling centers in her area who deal with this sort of thing and give her a list of those resources, it may make it a lot easier for her take the first step. Of course the decisions -- whether or not to try breastfeeding, whether or not to *use* the resources you've provided -- are all hers, but at the very least you may be helping her come to terms with a very difficult issue that she'll be dealing with for the rest of her life. You may even be able to help provide the support she'll need to breastfeed, if only for a short time. These are hard situations. A woman who has been through the devastating experience of molestation almost *has* to have some pretty deep trauma that affects her feelings about herself. How wonderful it would be if your support could help her to get on a path toward healing, especially if nurturing her child at her breast can be a part of that. Diane DiCarlo LLLLeader Brooklyn, NY