>If anyone has any good way of getting the idea that food (ie dad feeding >baby a bottle, even if it is breastmilk) doesn't have to be associated with >love, I'd like to know! Ditto with the idea that mom should consistently >sleep during the night while dad gives a bottle. Frustrated on the >Prairie... Maureen, I teach both Infant Care and Breastfeeding Basics, which gives me a wonderful advantage. In the infant care class, I talk about how much touching babies need and point out to the parents that *touch* is a major form of communicating love. I then encourage dads to consider taking on the task of giving baby a bath--- not to "help mom out", but so that they also have an opportunity for lots of skin contact. When these parents get to my breastfeeding class, we discuss reasons to breastfeed, and parents *always* mention bonding. I tell them that breastfeeding is a wonderful way to enhance bonding but that this does NOT mean that bottle-feeding moms can't bond to their babies; I just point out how much more holding and touching go on with breastfeeding as opposed to all those babies who learn to hold their own bottles and are left to feed themselves. Parents nod their heads knowingly. Towards the end I ask the question, "so where does dad fit into this?" I tell them that they can do *anything* for their baby besides feeding, and that they don't have to breastfeed to touch their baby! The light bulb clicks on then for most of the dads. I also always tell dads that the reason I love them coming to class is because my experience shows that pregnant mom's minds are really on labor, not breastfeeding, and they tend not to remember much whereas the dads remember a lot from the class. I mention how dads have a very protective nature (which is good!), and how it can either help or undermine breastfeeding--- specifically, if mom is hurting and baby is crying, dads want to FIX THE PROBLEM right now! If they don't understand breastfeeding, formula is the quickest and easiest fix. If they *do* understand breastfeeding, however, they will make suggestions or get mom help because they know this should work. They are usually glad that they came, though most had to be dragged there. ;-) -Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC