Hi LactNetters My daughter called last night and is now in Japan. Her belongings are packed up and on the way too. Big relief. She is not happy being so far away alone, but I try to help her understand that God has a purpose in this and she will see a part of the world none of us in her family have seen. Kathy A's comments on attachment to the mom concerned about becomming attached to the second child were right. In a book on dealing with children, I read it phrased as, love mutiplies, it does not divide. That is how we can love our parents, our siblings, our spouse, and out children - not to mention friends and other extended members of our family. Coach's comments on anesthesia are correct. When I delivered my first child 22 years ago, 'strapped and flat.' the MD was showing a student how to do an episotomy and sensation was returning to that area. I asked for more medication and he responeded that I couldn't possibly feel it. I asked him if he would llike to change places with me and see. I then passed out from the pain. I became more incensed about the issue in 1984 when our son was in the NICU after a premature birth. In his short life, due to kidney problems, he ended up having 4 operations and after he died and we had to get his entire medical files, I found out that not one of those operations was done with anesthesia. How barbaric and tragic. Makes me wonder if he didn't give up fighting for his life to escape the pain. I agree that if we were to ask the males on the list, they would answer completely different. There is a wonderful book on the issue titled Unequal Treatment, which concerns women and the medical system. What scares me about the nurse commenting on her nursing textbooks, is that not only did/do the HCPs learn this information, but apparently some fail to keep up with their journals (which I thought were the source of new information and techniques in the various areas). Binding and scheduling sound like practices done in the early days of hospital births. Makes me wonder why we appear to be going backward, instead of forward? Leslie Ward Vine Grove, KY "The greatest strength is gentleness." Iroquois proverb