4-9-97 The Oprah Winfrey Show Harpo Productions P.O. Box 909715 Chicago, IL 60690 Dear Ms. Winfrey and others: I was anxious to see your 4/2/97 show "Should your child still be doing that?" and was happy to see the subject matter handled calmly and the guests treated with respect. So many times I have seen discussions of this sort deteriorate into hysteria. I was very glad to hear the physicians emphasize that each parent should get to know their child as an individual and find out what works best for the child and the family. The information about when children complete toilet learning and begin to sleep through the night was more realistic than I've seen in other media. It was delightful to hear the "experts" endorse co-sleeping and let families know that this practice is fairly common. For families wanting to encourage independent sleep, several options for gently "weaning" children from the family bed could have been shared. Laying with the child in his bed first or putting a cot or sleeping bag on the floor in the parent's room are often effective transitional steps. The doctors were right on the money, as well, when they stated that breastfeeding past the "usual" age for our culture is normal, although uncommon. Anthropologists have found that natural weaning actually occurs somewhere between ages 2.5 and 7. Unfortunately in North America, breastfeeding and natural weaning are seen by many as aberrant practices, when in reality artificial (formula/bottle) feeding is the aberration. I wanted to point out that the 3 year old who nursed 12 times per day was a normal but not a typical 3 year old nursling. It would have been helpful to explain that nursing patterns vary widely, and that many 3 year olds nurse only once a day or even once a week. Taking care of a "high need" child can be very demanding, especially with other children in the household. Since this mother seemed so exasperated, I understood the recommendation to wean abruptly, but I do not agree with it. The clingy behavior and demands for attention may actually increase if this is tried. Most mothers gradually decrease the frequency and length of nursings instead. More gentle ways of weaning - while still meeting the child's need - could have been suggested. I would recommend firmly, but lovingly, setting some limits for the child - such as no nursing in the car and staying in the carseat (give the child a sippy cup or snack instead). This mother could try a carrier or backpack to keep the child close, as well as trying to set aside a special time each day to give the child her undivided attention. Sincerely, Laurie Wheeler, RNC, MN, IBCLC Louisiana Breastfeeding MediaWatch Coordinator Violet LA