I am so sorry that any woman had to experience a baby dying, esp during nursing. I believe that if I knew my baby was going to die, no matter what, holding it at my breast would be a way to share the last moments. I had an experience that I haven't seen addressed. I had a nephew die with SIDS when 11 days old, fully breastfed. They lived with us so since it was before I had children it was close to loosing one of my own. Anyway it made me very protective and anxious with my own. I believe it led to my being a Family Bed person. When my 2nd child was a few days old I was up nursing her in a chair about 2 am. Both of the above were unusual since I usually fed in bed. Can't rem. why I was up. During the feed I "happened" to look down at her and notice her color changing from lt blue to pale white. No struggling as she was not pressed into the breast. I removed my breast and stimulated her and she gasped and resumed breathing, color returned to normal. I of course panicked. Called my husband who was working night shift as Nursing supervisor at local hosp, he came home, baby seems ok. Saw Ped next day, baby normal. He offered apnea monitor but knowing from exp at work the false alarms I declined. What I believed happened was that she had suckeled (sp) the nipple in too far and it blocked the air passage. My breast are large and soft at the time. Never happened again with her or those who followed. She was my only induction (due to gest. diabetes), only thick mec fluid , only one to be inutubated for suction and then bagged to restart breathing, and only one to become jaundiced, (not reported to Dr.). Would I share this with new moms-no way. Would I share this with anyone trying to start policies on night feeds in hosp. - no way. It could happen to others, but most moms are alert to their babies cues. A medicated mom does need to be assisted and observed, that could be addressed in policies.