Dear Maureen, Thanks SO much for those two WONDERFUL long posts. I loved them! I too was feeling a little uncomfortable with the force of Kathy D.s statements, but confused as I love everything she writes. I wanted to believe that BF could be sensual/arousing, for the reasons you state. Why not enjoy it, since you do it so long. I love the way you clearly separate what a woman feels from what she does with that feeling: actions are important, feelings not. Personally, for me BF is mostly a little painful, but knowing that it can be pleasurable or even arousing for some women has helped me relax and let that go and even feel the good feelings more often! Thanks again, Dalia