Hello to all.  Carolyn Edwards asks for suggestions for her talk on guilt
and feeding.  The Sept. issue of International Journal of Childbirth
Education (ICEA's Journal) features a whole bunch of articles on the subject
of guilt and informed consent and perinatal issues -- including my article
on breastfeeding and guilt.  Carolyn, if you e-mail me your fax number, I'll
fax you back some of these.  Or maybe you have access to the Journal where
you are.

Kathy Dettwyler and Cathy Liles presented a talk on this at sev. LLL conf.
last summer, and possibly you could access one of their outlines or bibs
from someone who attended, or directly from them. I wasn't able to hear the
talk, but understand it was excellent.

Birth and breastfeeding are powerful psychosexual and psychosocial events.
They trigger potent memories and stir emotions.  As much as we'd all like to
believe that education solves all problems and really enables people to make
informed consent, the truth is that people often make choices according to
how they FEEL rather than how they THINK.  We ALL know that breast is best,
and that drug-free is smart.  But the raw emotions
(fear,shame,doubt,ambivalence) which women broadcast are picked up by
caregivers.  A lot of caregivers just can't feel right about ignoring those
distress signals. I have struggled for years with my own co-dependancy
issues, and fully sympathize with how other "care-taker" and "fixer" type
health profs feel telling these wounded women they must do something that
clearly they don't look capable of doing.

  Unfortunatly, this is enabling --sort of like telling lies to cover-up for
someone who has a drinking problem. The solution is not really to knock 'em
out  for births and transpose the inanimate bottle between them and their
infants afterwards just to spare them from "failing."  This perpetuates the
very loss of power and appropriate intimacy that may be at the root of their
psychological woundedness.

The issue of woundedness is the issue to address. Individuals drawn into
health care  are often sensitive,  & do see that, but don't always know how
to help.  I'd make the point that a supported and positive birth and
breastfeeding exper. may be just the empowerment that these women need to
begin to finally break free of whatever chains are robbing them of their
fullness of being.  These women, as Michel Odent always so movingly point
out, are the very people who need the most loving and nurturing births and
pp experiences.

That is part of how we can be useful.  We don't need to heap on shame.  We
need to be healers. I keep saying:  counseling and counseling techniques
should be a required part of our professional training.  This is where some
of the LLL background really helps. And doesn't this always imply, too,
working on ourselves first?  My own need to control, my own prejudices about
what is right for you can really get in the way of helping you re-gain
control of your own life.  Its pretty tricky, this business of being
detached but loving.
Barbara

Barbara Wilson-Clay, BS, IBCLC
Private Practice, Austin, Texas
Owner, Lactnews On-Line Conference Page
http://moontower.com/bwc/lactnews.html