I have developed the response of being suspicious of what comes next when I see or hear the words assertive or advocate. I have often used these words and consider myself to be an advocate for clients. However, I also know what it feels like to be faced with agressiveness and an adversarial relationship. Perhaps, one problem is the confusion between assertiveness and agressiveness. These feelings first popped up with the post that home birth is illegal in Georgia. Home birth is not illegal, but lay midwifery licenses are not being granted. I am old enough to remember licensed granny midwives, and we had a lay midwife speak to us in nursing school. What is happening in Georgia is an adversarial relationship between the lay midwives and some health care providers, especially physicians. The Board of Nursing did support not granting direct entry midwifery licenses. Many Certified Nurse Midwives practice in Georgia. I know several lay midwives. The other sad messages are those about unsupportive hospital staff. Would it be possible to work with all those involved to find alternatives to anger? For example, do families ask about alternatives to sending mom home on Christmas eve without baby? When the baby is not discharged, our hospital has a policy of discharging the mother, but letting her remain in an available room. The mom must be breastfeeding. If her baby is not in the Special Care Nursery, she must room-in. The hospital does not charge, and supplies a guest meal tray and linen. Mothers have used this service for one to three days. There is a group called Community Breastfeeding Coalition in this area. It has members from WIC, hospitals, other health providers, and at one point, LLL. We not only promote and protect breastfeeding, but try to solve problems and support each other. Many of the WIC offices offer good followup and support for families. Relationships between physicians, hospitals, and LLL in this area have varied from good to merely tolerable. Our hospital is a LLL Resource Center. Discharge packs include a telephone number for local leaders, and we post the meeting dates, but some LLL members exhibit a very strong anti-hospital attitude. I have a good relationship with the leaders. Most nurses just mention to clients that LLL exists. Anyway, my soap box is that I always want to do something about a frustrating situation. Complaining to other Lactnetters is a way to express some frustration, of course. I do face a lot of frustration trying to make things better. I am likely to be viewed as a person who rocks the boat instead of a mediator. I don't want to come across as critical, but sometimes I feel like offering, "Would you like some cheese with that whine?" I really learn a lot from LACTNET. Becky Engel, RN, IBCLC Staff nurse/ Lactation consultant Family Care Unit Athens Regional Medical Center Athens, GA, USA