On Thu, 21 Dec 1995, katherine a. dettwyler wrote: > What a concept. Do you beat them off with a stick when they are trying to > fling their arms around Dad and are jumping up and down shouting "Daddy's > home, Daddy's home?" Does this also apply to when MOM comes home? Beat them off with a stick? <g> No, these are merely rules that children learn to obey, with "consequences" if they disobey. Now about MOM coming home....... if dad is there first, I believe that the same would still apply, as the marital relationship is placed first either way. > NOT to defend the Ezzo's in any way shape or form, but much of modern > psychology and the "recognized accepted principles of child development" are > based only on studies of white middle-class Americans, and have little or no > relevance to much of the world. In Mali (and in other similar cultures) > where babies are breastfed on demand, sleep with parents, AND held/played > with/handled by lots of different relatives since their first days of life, > they do not show the same intense attachment just to mom, but rather have an > extended circle of "primary attachments" to those in their extended family. > They will willingly go to siblings, cousins, co-wives, grandparents, aunts, > and uncles, and even nurse from co-wvies, grandmothers, and aunts without > complaint, and do not show the supposedly "typical" separation anxiety stage > in the second half year of life. They will scream and cry at the sight of a > white woman, however! Katherine, leave it to you to bring up this point! Of course American psychology is not the end of ends; I agree with you. In traditional cultures, as I understand it, the whole family may share in the care of the baby, and thus many people will be accepted early on. "Strangers", I would hazard to guess, were probably few by definition. Would you agree, however, Katherine, that our isolated nuclear families make for a different environment with different results? The Ezzo's expect babies to go to *anyone*, most especially the true stranger, without a complaint. In the context of American culture and childraising, I find that our expectations of child development can and probably should apply, though their universal application is certainly in doubt. If I'm missing something, feel free to chime in again! :-) -Lisa ************************************************* Lisa Marasco, BA, LLLL, IBCLC [log in to unmask] / [log in to unmask] *************************************************