I think that the issue in any breastfeeding situation is to be able to meet the mother where she is and help her. It is very tempting to say that we know the "best" way. Her question needs to be answered first. I have lots of trouble doing this and I need to continually remind myself that it is not my baby or my life. However we also have the obligation, I think, to provide the necessary info. For example: if a mother calls me for info about a pump I will usually ask her why she needs one. Very often it is because she has been told that she needs to express milk for a "relief" bottle or to train the baby to accept a bottle. I don't think that it is wrong to point out to such a mother that it isn't necessary to do this, if she doesn't want to do so. This is very different from the mother whose family will literaly starve if she doesn't go back to work. We also need to support the mother now so that she can grow with the baby and in her mothering relationship. If anyone had ever told me when my first was born that I would nurse him 3 years (until pregnancy made me so sore) or my daughter 4+ years I would have run away screaming. I was able to find enough acceptance and support to grow in my nursing and mothering. (He will be 24 next week) As hard as it is the best place for our tongues is often between our teeth. Press hard. Remember that no one can nurse and bite at the same time. Sarah Friend Barnett, LLLL, IBCLC Bronx (New York City), New York [log in to unmask]